Lucy Reflects

My Toddler’s Broken, Can I Trade It In For a New One?

My son, Max, who is now 10, was a terrible toddler. Such a handsome young lad with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. But holy crap, was he the devil incarnate.

He was like a monkey fueled by Red Bull. He never stopped. And then there were the tantrums. Take a Red Bull-jacked- up monkey, throw in a little Mike Tyson just for good measure, and you had Max. He had these amazing breakdowns. And always in public. We would frequent Central Market in Lancaster and he would snap. It was like trying to hold still an inflatable air dancer outside of a used car dealership.

I would grab one limb and another would slip away.

It was float like a butterfly, sting like a bee in my world.

Twice he was kicked out of my place of employment by the owners for unruly behavior. I work at a bar. He wasn’t even drinking.

One time when he was three, he pushed me to my breaking point. And I broke one of his toys. He was throwing the toy at me while I was driving. Not my proudest moment, but it happened. Then this look came over him. A weird shit-eating grin that said, “I’ll show you.” For THREE YEARS, he told people about me breaking his toy. Strangers, family, it didn’t matter. He would pout and sniffle and say, “My mom broke my toy. I will never get that toy back again. I think it’s been discontinued.”

I met a man who I was absolutely smitten for and it was time for him to meet Max. Phil wanted to take Max out to buy a toy. Did Max tell him about the toy I broke and that’s where the idea came from? Probably. Either way, we were picking out a toy and Max wanted a Nerf gun. Nerf guns were a weapon of mass destruction against me so I calmly told him no. Naturally, he lost his shit right then and there. I got down to Max’s level and begged him not to fall apart. But alas, he went to the dark side. And a tantrum like no other erupted in the toy aisle.

“Phil is going to run faster from this situation than you can say terrible toddlers aren’t my thing,” I thought to myself.

Fast-forward to the present. I married Phil. Max has grown into a compassionate and understanding little man. He’s smart and sweet with his sister. But he does occasionally bring up that time I broke his toy.