Lucy Reflects

Why I did the Birthday Project

At first it wasn’t to help others, it was to help myself.

As a primarily stay-at-home mom, our days can vary from success to failure. I was going on week two of feeling a bit like a failure. On the outside, I was keeping up, but inside I was falling into a funk.

Days were all the same. Laundry? Check. Dishes? Check. Play with dolls? Check. Pack lunches, make beds, run errands, check homework, plan dinner.

Clean the floors, do the dishes, someone help this Cinderelly.

In between, we headed out for activities with Whitney and the kids, but I was beginning to struggle with Bea’s behavior. She was a threenager at her peak, attacking other kids, not listening, dumping 6,000 Q- tips into the sink, getting into my make-up, applying her dad’s deodorant to walls, painting with toothpaste and my tooth brush, wiping with an entire roll of toilet paper because she could go potty “all by herself.”

“Why does my tooth brush taste like body wash, Bea?!”

“Because I had to clean my dolls,” she’d declare. Or she’d excuse bad behavior by saying, “Just kidding, you guys!” And flash a smile and run to destroy something else.

She took to plunging the toilet with objects that weren’t meant to plunge a toilet after she jammed a roll of toilet paper into the bowl. I’ll spare the details on that one.

I felt like Bill Murray in “Groundhog Day.” Every day, I had the same mundane routine. Beatrix with her everyday antics. Max would call for me from a different room as I caught up on chores. He’d insist on showing me a YouTube video or telling me every detail about a video game he played. I hate video games and YouTube videos. I thought I made this clear to my entire family. I also thought I made it clear that I didn’t like brushing my teeth with body wash or hand lotion. Or that you don’t’ plunge a toilet with daddy’s electric tooth brush.

I was starting to lose sight of myself. I wasn’t feeling like the old Lucy who had a sense of style and humor and creativity. I was a new Lucy, an underpaid, under-appreciated maid for my kids who was forced to dig unimaginable objects out of the toilet while Max stood over me and talked about gaming.

When Whitney asked if I wanted to do a week of random acts of kindness, I thought to myself, “Seriously? I can barely keep my head above float right now.” But I decided to accept the challenge.

We worked diligently to schedule volunteer work and asked for donations. We gave out treats and lottery tickets. We gave gifts to our township, teachers, emergency room employees, trash collectors and mail carriers. We helped feed the homeless. We made dinner for those in need. We spent our own time and money to make donations to our favorite local organizations. We took our children to visit patients at Luther Acres. Max donated his bike.

It was a difficult week. But every time we did one of these acts was another step to getting out of my funk. It was putting my life into perspective.

I am lucky. And I am fortunate. I have a husband who supports and loves us. I can feed my family. I have somewhere to call home. If my toothbrush is used to clean a toilet, I can buy another one.

My experience with The Birthday Project was eye-opening. I was forced to take a step back and realize that what I have is a blessing. And so were my children.

I stepped outside of my tiny world and saw a bigger picture. I met people who truly make a difference, who made me see what it means to give more. And I remembered who I can be outside of being a mother. There was room for the old and new Lucy.

I went into The Birthday Project with the wrong mindset. What happened was extraordinary. Help others, say hello and say thank you. Hold the door for someone. Engage in a conversation with a stranger. Inspire each other. Love each other. Reach outside of your Bill Murray day. You will be surprised at what you find. And when you set your mind to it, you will appreciate this world so much more.